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Bruce and Mary are expecting their daughter Helen (with friend Christi) later this evening and Mary is busting her butt cleaning and making preparations and she is so excited she cannot stand still. Join them as they spend the next week showing Helen and Christi the sights and sounds of Mérida.

It’s Monday, November 23^rd, Helen is arriving this evening and we have no water. But Omar, our trusty property mgr has the plomero over in a flash, and after replacing the floats in the tinaca on the roof of the master bedroom/media room addition and the one in the cistern beneath the pool pump station, we are back in business. This situation helps us realize once again that this house is really 3 houses. The original, hundred year old front of the house, the newer bedroom suites where we reside, and the brand new pool, promenade, and master bedroom complex at the back of this football field-long house.

Mary is camped out on the street waiting for the girls to arrive. It is about 7:30pm and according to our calculations their taxi from the bus depot should be arriving any minute. I tire of this after about 20 minutes, figuring that the girls didn’t get to the Cancun bus depot after their flight from MSP in time for the 3:00 bus, so we might as well kill another hour before we get all worked up again. Mary waits another 15 minutes before she concurs and she sets up shop on the sidewalk again at 8:30 this time to be rewarded with Helen and Christi’s appearance. It’s hugs and kisses and then we whisk them into the house and lead them to their rooms. It doesn’t matter if you’ve seen a 100 pix (which Helen had), because, like every one of our visitors so far, they are bug-eyed over the scale of this house.

We have them get settled into their rooms while we hustle botanas and Margaritas and I grab one of my Cohibas, a genuine puro, Cubana, Cuban cigar. I am breaking my cigars-on-weekends

only rule, for this special occasion. The girls dangle their toes poolside and we have a fun time getting caught up until 2 in the morning. Then it is time for this old man to go to bed.

Everyone sleeps in and while the girls are cleaning up Mary and I put together our usual fruit and avocado breakfast. The only fruit they do not recognize is the Mamey which they agree tastes like sweet potato on steroids.

We quickly bus dishes as we need to leave soon for our appmt with Alexei, known by gringos to be the number 1 dress designer in Mérida. Helen is engaged to be married this coming June and being a girl on a budget we approached her with the idea of making this visit a bit of wedding tourism as the rough quote Alexei had given us was just a fraction of the cost of a wedding dress back in Minneapolis.

The walk to Alexei’s studio is only two blocks and Alexei greets us at the door. He walks us through a front room into his consulting/measuring room and Helen produces the pic of Fiona Apple in the dress that is her inspiration. Alexei is all business at first but as we get into the process he is a lot of fun and he is most definitely quite gay, which as I understand it, is a requirement. JK.

He brings out a bolt of beige satin and many samples of chiffon of different weights of which a bright white stands out. That is the ticket. For the sash he brings out a bolt of the most stunning sapphire blue satin that anyone has ever seen and we all just lean forward in our chairs and say in unison, “That is beautiful!”

The measuring begins with Helen standing on a little platform and one of Alexei’s female assistants with the tape. This takes literally 15-20 minutes. Helen tells us later that she was measured in places where she didn’t know she had dimensions. Alexei explains that his dresses are designed to fit every inch of the torso. This is why he really disdains designing dresses from supplied measurements but with the volume of custom clothes he is starting to make for his US customers, he sometimes has to.

This session concludes and the girls are stunned that Helen will be getting a beautiful custom made wedding gown for 2500P about $200US.

Back home we snack on pistachios and peanuts and then we give them the Mexican Wal-Mart experience. As I may have mentioned before, Wal-Mart’s business plan is far different in México where they actually team up with communities, they don’t decimate them and the main Wal-Mart looks more like a Museum than the pole barns were all used to in the States. After picking up supplies and having supper back home we play competing U-tubes and we watch a funny bit by the winning team of her employer’s video competition. Capella U placed in the top 10 most desirable employers of Minneapolis and the school celebrated by having this contest. The stars are several from Helen’s department including her supervisor and their bit is a hilarious send-up of “Beat It”. It appears I have lost our you-tube contest when after about 15 minutes of Trailer Park Boys, the movie, Helen starts reading the newspaper. I can take a hint and kill the vid. Everyone is pretty tired so it is an early night for all.

Wednesday is a work day for Mary and I, so as the girls are sleeping in Mary logs into her early morning shift. I prepare a fruit breakfast breakfast for all and then get about my morning routine before I log into work for my 10-4 shift. The girls once up and fed, relax on the chaise lounges working on their tans but it is a little overcast and hard work getting any color today. But they don’t mind too much, they’re on holiday and sipping cocktails and reading their novels.

For evening fun we have invited our young friend Emilie, another Minnesotan about Helen’s age, and her local boyfriend, Edgar over for cocktails and botanas. Another MN gal, Rhianna, who is visiting Emilie, tags along. We sit around the patio table poolside with the boom box going and the youngsters really hit it off. Edgar, a retired musician (Emilie had given him the old-tomato about getting serious about his life) currently working as food vendor, is a hoot. He has really done a good job picking up English, mostly from listening to American music, and he has a great sense of humor. At one point Christi asks about tattoos as that is a project of hers, acquiring tats everywhere she travels and she is quite the world traveler. Edgar rolls up his sleeves, exposing arms completely covered with tats and says, “How about me?”  Christi is quite pleased that this worked out so easily.

It’s getting late and they want to go out on the town. We hear later that they went to the Mayan Pub, a place we love, but there wasn’t enough action for them (no live music on Wednesday nights) so Edgar leads them like a pied piper to an underground bar. All I ever heard was that they had a helluva lot of fun.

It’s Thursday and Thanksgiving day, but it doesn’t feel like it, after all this is México and this is just another

work day except for the tiny percentage of gringos that live in this city of 750,000 souls. Mary starts working on the meal, a vegan one as Helen has been vegan for quite some time and Mary is a vegan wannabe. In a concession that was not easily won I had talked Mary into letting me buy a couple monster chicken breasts (could not get away with a whole turkey) so Mary bakes them up in a tasty basil preparation and everyone is pretty doggone happy with the meal.

We lounge for a bit and then we head out for the Yucatan State fair that our friend Joanne had told us about, and I mean who knew, a Yucatan State Fair?

We walk up to Calle 69 and 56 and 58 and there is a bus loading. We are lucky to make it just in time, but unlucky as that means it is standing room only, but the good news is the fair is in a little town just beyond the SE city limits and we are there in only 20 minutes.

We arrive just as the sun is setting and Helen buys our 12P, about 90¢ each, tickets. This entire facility appears to be brand new and quite modern and large, not MN state fair large, but I estimate it covers about 60 acres.

Mexicans know how to do fairs as the beer garden is right to the right of the entry way plaza and you can buy litros in cups, and you can wander around the entire facility with your beers, and there are many other smaller beer gardens scattered throughout the complex. I have a great first impression.

We head towards the midway stopping at a petting zoo along the way. One of the keepers hands Christi a baby goat and it practically falls asleep in her arms.

There is a marina show featuring delphinos, dolphins, but we are a little late for that and the next isn’t for over an hour, so we move on.

The midway is right up the lane and Helen and Christi indulge themselves in a rather modest roller coaster which puts large smiles on their faces. We keep walking around the perimeter and find a  flea market and right away I see a vendor selling huge 8’x8’ beach blankets. I am happy to pay the 200P as he won’t budge on the price but then he throws in a nice flannel blanket and a couple of really cheesy pillows. He bundles it up with twine and being rather bulky I find it easiest to carry on my head. This elicits a chuckle from the women, which is about the only way I get a laugh these days as nobody gets me anymore.

We make our way past a couple dance pavilions with live, eardrum shattering music. Once again we observe a phenomena we have seen many times. The chest thumping vibrations of the music don’t even register on them, their conversations are normal without having to repeat a single word and they field cell calls without missing a beat. I don’t get it.

We finally round the bend and find some more rides, a zip-line for the girls and unfortunately for Helen she is too light for her momentum to carry her all the way to the other platform, about 20’ off the ground. The attendee has to pulley out on grab Helen around the waist with his legs and hand over hand pull the both of them to the platform. Helen wasn’t really looking for any relationship, just a ride. Christi is next and by this time a crowd of beer drinking locals has formed a fan club and as she begins her assent they are cheering, “Christi! Christi!” Mary ends up posing them all for a group shoot.

Then the girls talk me into a rollercoaster ride over in this part of the fair. It is a short ride and there’s not very much vertical but we do have a loop the loop and it is as herky-jerky a roller coaster ride as I have ever had. I’m glad they talked me into it.

Next we walk past the Brahma bulls which are very impressive but they all really need jocks if they’re not going to hurt themselves.

Finally we are at “Winterland”! In one enclosed, chilled tent there are snowball fights that go until each team’s box of readymade snow balls is depleted. The two teams are separated by a badminton fence and there are some real maniacs. One teenaged guy never left the snow ball box for a close in shot but just lobbed mortar shells non-stop. I was expecting him to get the first case of frostbite in the tropics but his adrenalin rush trumped his blue hands. The girls thought this to be a little too energetic so they opted for the inner tube slide next door. It was about as exciting as you can get with a 10’ vertical, wheee!

At this point the girls feel that they came, they saw, and they conquered this Mexican state fair, so we meander toward the exit gate and find the bus staging area. Even though it is quite busy we board quickly and by bus, then taxi we are back home in a flash.

Mary makes sandwiches and we eat and drink beer poolside and then everyone hits the sack, these types of days wear out young and old alike.

Friday is a work day for Mary and me, so we get about our usual schedules. The girls sleep in, have the continental breakfast I had made them and they head over to Alexei for a fitting. This takes a while and right as Mary logs off work, she gets a call from Alexei, “Your daughter is so beautiful, you must come right away to see her!” So, no more need be said; she bolts the two blocks to his studio and takes many photos. I have a rather nice night out planned from the proceeds of the hush money Helen paid me to keep those photos off this blog.

The only problem is, this fitting has taken way longer than expected and they are late in meeting Rhianna, our young friend’s visitor, at the bus depot for a day trip to Uxmal, the famous Mayan Ruins in the Puuc hills south of Mérida. When they finally hook up with Rhianna it is too late for the Uxmal buses but they make a fun day of it touring La Plaza Grande, including the Governor’s Palace, the San Idelfonso Catedral (oldest one on the N American continent) and other walk-able historic sites.

The girls check back in late in the afternoon but they are soon off again to meet up with Emilie, Edgar, and Rhianna for her going-away party, she is taking the midnight express this evening down to Chiapas, about an 8 hr bus ride. She figures she will sleep on the bus and avoid one night of hotel expense. Oh to be young again.

They meet at the Namaste Grille (or the Nasty Grille as Dave the Brit calls it) and Helen and Christi later agree with that assessment. One of Helen’s favorite restaurants back in Uptown Minneapolis is an Indian joint where she can get all the vegan Indian delights her heart desires, so she knows Indian cuisine. After their meal they head up to La Canta Mexicana which had been described to us as a pretty cool karaoke bar with a 100P cover that includes all the beer and botanas you can eat and drink. We have never been there as it opens roughly at our bedtime, 9:00. But the report we got from the girls was: not fun. No one was singing, nobody brought around botanas, and it was just generally a bore.

It’s late and the girls are still out. Helen had informed me that Dads usually dance with their bride daughters which frankly hadn’t occurred to me, and being a horrible dancer, or really not a dancer at all, I had downloaded some youtube video “how to’s” on, well I thought for the helluva it, swing dancing. So I talk Mary into, after a number of beers, practicing these new found moves with me, so we are in the midst of that when we hear some laughing from the hallway. Sure enough, busted, but at least Helen is kind enough to say she thought the scene “adorable”.

Saturday is beach day and we start off with a short walk to our favorite breakfast buffet, La Chocolat. It is a 49P buffet which includes unlimited fruit drinks and coffee. They have added, to the usual offerings, a boiled potato/chorizo dish which is really good. Even Helen finds enough fruit and rice to properly fuel up and after settling up we head out the door to catch a city bus to the Progreso bus stop. The day is starting off promising, it has been cool, only up to 75 yesterday and breezy, but today it is warming up nicely. We catch a bus right away and have equal luck with the Progreso bus and we are soon headed out of town to the beach.

We debark at the bus depot and laden with all our beach gear we head the few blocks towards the beach but at Calle 27 I grab my gear and head to my Progreso gym. I tell the girls I will find them on the beach after my workout. Which I do, after a fairly righteous circuit routine, right at our favorite spot on the beach, a few steps from the cerveceria, where we buy our megas (super litros, 1120ml!!) for only 18P.

The sun, shining warmly in a soft blue sky is tempered by a cooling breeze and the girls are baking themselves on both sides while Mary is doing her cryptoquips, sitting on one of our portable chairs. I join them, sitting in the other chair, and I  pour myself a glass of Superior, light up a Cohiba and it just doesn’t get any better than this.

After a couple hours of this bliss, our stomachs are rumbling so we head up the malecon to grab some grub. We find a restaurant that has reasonably priced cervezas and park ourselves in the beachside palapa area, but we only last there a few minutes, with the sun dipping to the watery horizon of the gulf it has cooled quite a bit so we cross the street and sit in the restaurant proper.

It’s an interesting menu for the carnivores but poor Helen gets stuck with French Fries, but Mary does share some of her Christians and Moors. I order Pescado Frito, because Christi is too chicken to, and I want her to see what a deep fat fried whole Grouper, eyeballs and all, is all about. Christi has the Pescado al Diablo and before even tasting it she douses it with chile and pepper sauce. She nearly hurts herself but she does persevere. I sample her dish and I am impressed that she has a tolerance to heat that equals mine. I salute you Christi!

We settle up and walk back to the bus depot and are quickly boarded. We debark at Calle 60 and 47 and head on home, walking by all the commotion at El Remate de Paseo that always accompanies the setting up for La Noche Mexicana, the every Saturday night Mérida fiesta.

Back home we relax by the pool and Helen calls her Caleb, Christi checks in with her friend who is getting some work done on her new house and Mary and I get caught up on emails.

The girls, including Mary, quickly get their energy back and they go check out La Noche Mexicana and I don’t see them until 10. Then Helen and Christi put it into high gear as they go check out Cumbancheros, a really cool Cuban salsa joint that we have visited several times. It is operated by the father son duo, Ruben Gonzalez II and III. The original Ruben Gonzalez was a renowned Cuban musician who won a grammy for the score for The Buena Vista Social Club. The walls are adorned with grammy, platinum record, Ry Cooder memorabilia and one of his most popular songs, Cumbanchero is, obviously, the namesake of Ruben’s son and grandson’s restaurant/night club. It is a pretty cool place. And we hear all about the fun they had the next morning as they are out far beyond our bedtime.

Sunday is Mérida en Domingo and after the girls finally roust up we head to La Corazon, the heart of Centro to see the sights and to, well, shop. I tag along and at la plaza grande, while the girls are checking out all the vendors, I enjoy the dancing of the young troupe in the square. Today they’re doing the balancing thing where they dance around with platters of beer bottles on their heads. It is pretty amazing as they twirl about to the live band. I join up with the girls and I see that it is getting close to kick-off; my Vikings are playing Chicago in a few minutes so I head back home. I am lucky to get a good P2P video stream and I must say that I am enjoying myself immensely, sipping on my Bloody Mary, puffing on my Cohiba, and watching Favre destroying the Bears 36-10 with 4 TD passes and 392 yds, when the girls arrive with their bags of gifts and souvenirs.

For supper Mary makes gnocchi with pesto and even we carnivores like this dish a lot. While the women are cleaning up the kitchen I call our youngest, Joey, to talk the game, a Sunday tradition and I figure I’ll get the football part done before Mary and Helen join in on the conversation. Helen and Joey give each other crap but in the zinger department I have to give it to Joey, in a close contest. After the call Helen turns us onto Dr. Who series and shows us how to access episodes on youtube. We both like the show instantly and are always happy to add to our viewing itinerary. Then it’s an early night for all of us.

Monday is a work day for us and it is Chichen Itza day for Helena and Christi. We work our shifts and Mary heads to her “Let’s Speak English” classes. I log off and just as I am back in the door from restocking our beer supply I get a call from Helen, we had insisted she take Mary’s cell with her. It seems she is concerned about missing the bus back from the ruins and there is some confusion as I think she was calling from Chichen Itza and I have no idea of the bus situation there but finally it is clear that she is calling from a restaurant at Uxmal, a very impressive Mayan Ruins that I have visited. The last one I have visited, the very last one I will ever visit as I am Mayan Ruined out, but that is another story. I advise her that if indeed they did miss the last bus out of the facility that she should hike to the highway, a little less than a kilometer and wait for a bus. The Campeche buses run pretty much on the hour. “Okay, dad, see you soon!”

Mary is home from school a little before the girls arrive around 7 and after my tale Mary is ecstatic and much relieved to see the girls. I was not worried; my Helen can take care of herself.

It is the second to last night of Helen and Christi’s stay so we want to go somewhere nice to eat. We taxi downtown to Amaro’s which is very romantic place and it offers a good selection of vegan entrees. We are ushered to the courtyard and as we get settled at a table the trova musician, an older gentleman, starts strumming his guitar and crooning. It is a very pleasant ambiance. And here, I have a chance to order my favorite beer in the world, Bohemia Obscura. Even Helen, who does not like dark beer as a rule, is pretty impressed.

We order up our dishes: Mary is in vegan wannabe mode and orders up the veggie enchiladas. Helen has some tomato and onion thing (I sample it and I’m sorry, all you vegans out there, but my taste buds are unable to detect any discernable flavor in these dishes) that she likes a lot. I have an avocado stuffed with tuna which sounded better than it tasted and Christi scored with her stuffed eggplant dish, it is very tasty and when I sample it, I again am pleased to know another spice mate, Christi has doused it with salsa verde and it is flammable.

After settling the check, we taxi back home and relax around the pool. Helen skypes Caleb and it is clear these betrothed are missing each other immensely, hopefully next time the both of them can visit us.

We’re both off today, Tuesday, and I actually sleep in. I get about my morning routine as the girls walk up the street to Pacsadeli, a cool restaurant supply store that also caters to the public. Here they pick up some Xcatik sauce (absolutely superb on everything) and other assorted goodies. They check in back home before running off to La Plaza Grande to meet up with our young friend Emile who will accompany them to her house on the south side for Christi’s appointment with Edgar for her Mérida tattoo.

This ends up being an all day affair but well worth it as Mary and Helen enjoyed spending the day in their cute little casa and Christi is very happy with her tat, the Mayan symbol of life and death, on the back of her upper right arm. It is bandaged but she allows me a peek. I quiz her a little and it seems that Edgar was quite sanitary about the whole procedure.

It is the girls’ last night here and we have yet to take them to one of our neighborhood bars, so we’re off to El Lucero del Alba, just a block away. This is a nice, air conditioned, big screen TV bar. We didn’t think El Arcos, a working man’s bar with an occasional cockroach here and there, would impress them much.

We sit out in the new palapa part of the bar and order up a cubetaza, a bucket of five beers and the botanas start coming. Even Helen gets her fill as she really likes the kibis. Mary has the girls list their favorite and least favorite parts of this trip just like we had the kids do when they were little. The girls agree that the State Fair and the beach were their favorites and they agree again on their least favorite, La Canta Mexicana, the karaoke place.

Back home we relax poolside and the girls take turns packing, it is getaway day tomorrow. Then we take a break and watch the November 30^th Daily Show which I have stored on my laptop. It is pretty cool, playing the México’s Immigrant Problem bit for the girls. It opens with our Doc and friend Carlos, features another friend Bette, in true form, and the man disguised by glasses and a bushy mustache is Reg, the administrator of the Mérida English Library. Mary and I attended his and spouse-mate Larry’s wedding reception, here in Mérida.

We all hit the sack about 10pm as the girls need to be out the door by 6:15am tomorrow morning. Mary has already called our favorite one-armed taxi driver, Roberto.

Mary and I are out of bed at 5:30 and we get the coffee going and the girls just have some cereal for breakfast. Mary packs them a care package of pretzels and pistachios and right at 6:15 sharp, as usual, Roberto is at the door. Roberto has a quick cup of coffee and then I help him with the girls’ gear and the next thing you know they’re off. We wave at them until they are out of sight. Mary is sobbing gently but I remind her that we will be seeing all the kids in just a few weeks, which is no immediate consolation to her.

We wander back into the house, Mary logs in and it’s another workday, but here in paradise.

Thanks for visiting gentle reader. That was a lot of fun for Bruce and Mary and it seemed that Helen and Christi enjoyed themselves, too. They certainly didn’t sit still, well except for those suntanning sessions. But you know you have to come back from México with a decent suntan just to prove you were there. Bruce and Mary have been here so long they have forgotten that México was only a vacation destination for them once, as well. Feliz Navidad, loyal fans!